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On Election Day, Tuesday, November 4, 2008, two Ugandan friends emailed me to say thanks for electing Barack Obama as our next president.  Mwebale okulonda President Obama, Lillian wrote.

This evening I went to a hear Alexandra Fuller speak about growing up during the Rhodesia/Zimbabwe independence/civil war and how it has affected her and the writing she has done.  This post is essentially borrowing many other people’s thoughts, particularly those of poets, writers and thinkers that she mentioned, in addition to the insights that she herself shared.  I haven’t heard the word “soul” in too long, and I regret that I feel the pull of studio so that I will not probe too deeply beyond the thoughts that she shared.

To begin with, before we get to soul, I was immediately reminded about the deplorable state of my African history knowledge, so I consulted Wikipedia when I got back here to the Design building, particularly http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhodesia and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Rhodesia.

The area now known as Zimbabwe was named Rhodesia in 1895 after the Briton who obtained mineral rights for the area in 1888.  There is a lot of complicated history in the meantime, but for tonight I’ll skip ahead:  Rhodesia declared itself independent from Britain in 1965 and was ruled by white settlers until 1979.  The civil war between Rhodesians (whites) and native blacks began in 1972, known as the “Bush War” to whites and the Second Rebellion to blacks.  Blacks outnumbered whites 22:1 in Rhodesia, yet many Western countries supported the Rhodesians, including the US.  Fuller told the story of getting her driver’s license in Idaho around the mid- to late 1980s:  when she approached the counter, the clerk recognized her accent as Rhodesian and commented about it.  Fuller was astonished, until the clerk told her that Rhodesian pilots were trained in Idaho for that civil war.

In 1980, the Republic of Zimbabwe became independent, with a president whose name should be familiar, Robert Mugabe.  Soon after that Fuller moved to the US, and, at age 24, she had the right to free speech for the first time.  Please pause and let that sink in.

Fuller’s mother wanted her to become a writer, saying something like “you can pay someone to do your math but no one but you can find your voice.”  After Fuller moved to the US, she began writing Don’t Let’s Go to the Dogs Tonight.  She wrote ten versions, all of which ignored or downplayed the presence and pervasiveness of alcoholism and racism in her childhood.  Then she wrote the truth, which became the published memoir.  She said “having written that book, I am in exile forever.”  She spoke of the deep loneliness in the realization that however heinous the Rhodesians were, she can never be part of the community in which she was born.  She then quoted part of Walt Whitman’s Preface to Leaves of Grass, 1855, the need to “re-examine all you have been told at school or church, or in any books, and dismiss whatever insults your soul.”

While talking about her writing process and what drives her to write, Fuller told the following parable.  Three people are in a locked cell; two of the prisoners are sleeping when the third realizes that the air is running out in the cell.  The awake prisoner can be kind and allow the other two prisoners to remain sleeping, or she can be honest and wake them up.  If she wakes them up, there is also a chance that one of them will know how to unlock the door.  As a storyteller, Fuller strives to write with honesty, considering the chance that she will wake someone up from their locked cell, and they will realize they have the key to open it.  She hasn’t given them the key, but the ability to find their key.

Fuller also spoke of the South African poet Breyten Breytenbach; he was held a prisoner in solitary confinement for his anti-apartheid views when he returned to South Africa illegally in 1975.  The only way for prisoners to communicate with each other was by singing each night.  This was also a death-row holding area, where a prisoner was hung about every three days.  The prisoners would sing together each night, except on the night before a hanging.  That night, the prisoner sentenced to die would sing alone.  During that last song of the prisoner, Breytenbach spoke of needing to change the quality of listening.  Fuller connected to that need of changing the quality of listening as she researched her books. While writing her latest book, The Legend of Colton H. Bryant, she realized her own prejudices were holding her back from hearing the story of the Wyoming roughneck.  She spoke of the need to dismiss the labels and become authentically herself, saying “scrape away at your beliefs to make sure they don’t calcify into prejudice.”  Remember that we’re all made from the same soul.

Fuller recalled a common saying: “the only book that’s worth writing is the one that almost kills you.”  She said it should kill you, it should shift your soul.  “The clothes you wore while writing no longer fit.”

She ended by returning to Breytenbach.  When he was released from jail, he was overjoyed to see COLOR in the world again, having been surrounded by grays – even his eyesight had become somewhat grayed due to vitamin deficiency.  Once out of jail, he felt as if zombies surrounded him since he was so amazed to see the brightness of colors.  This is a very strange thing since it would seem that life would be more zombie-like within jail.  She closed with this:

“Your only job on the planet is to realize that you have one shot at this [life on earth]… your only job is to find your voice.  When you find your voice, you will be awake.  The challenge is to STAY AWAKE.”

An early morning walk through Doolittle

More of Whitman’s Preface to Leaves of Grass
“This is what you shall do: love the earth and sun, and animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence towards the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown, or to any man or number of men; go freely with the powerful uneducated persons, and with the young, and mothers, of families: read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life:  re-examine all you have been told at school or church, or in any books, and dismiss whatever insults your soul.” (for the whole Preface, see http://www.bartleby.com/39/45.html)

For some interviews with Alexandra Fuller, to get a better feel for her tone than I have been able to capture in my notes:

http://www.powells.com/authors/fuller.html

http://www.randomhouse.com/boldtype/0303/fuller/interview.html

http://www.alexandrafuller.org/

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